🪰 CHICAGO HAS A NEW PROBLEM: BLOOD-SUCKING BITING FLIES?! BABY, WHAT DID WE DO TO MOTHER NATURE?!

COME HERE.

Because apparently tornadoes, flooding, wildfire smoke, ridiculous heat and cicadas weren't enough.

Now the FLIES HAVE STARTED EATING PEOPLE.

😭😭😭

And unfortunately, I'm barely exaggerating.

People across Chicago and the surrounding area have been reporting unusually aggressive flies that don't just land on you and irritate you.

THESE LITTLE DEMONS BITE.

Reports have come from areas including Rogers Park, West Town, Logan Square, Streeterville, Oak Street Beach and Calumet Park, with some people describing being swarmed while outside. �

Chicago Sun-Times +1

🩸 YES, SOME OF THEM ACTUALLY DRINK BLOOD

One likely culprit is the stable fly.

Don't let the regular-looking fly costume fool you.

The Illinois Department of Public Health says stable flies resemble house flies, but they have a pointed mouthpart that they use to suck blood from livestock, pets and PEOPLE. They're especially common during late summer and fall and frequently attack the ankles. �

Illinois Department of Public Health

And the way they eat?

Baby...

Experts describe their mouthparts as bayonet-like, with tiny rasping structures that break the skin so the fly can feed on blood. �

Chicago Sun-Times

EXCUSE ME?!

A BAYONET?!

I thought you were a fly.

Why the hell are you carrying WEAPONS?! 😭

🪰 PEOPLE SAY THEY'RE GETTING SWARMED

This isn't just somebody seeing three flies near a garbage can and declaring an insect apocalypse.

Chicago-area residents have described getting repeatedly bitten and swarmed.

CBS Chicago spoke with one father whose 2-year-old daughter's leg had to be bandaged after being bitten at a park. Another Chicago resident described the number of flies and mosquitoes this summer as an “invasion.” �

CBS News

Even along the lakefront, people have complained about painful bites.

And yes, apparently some lifeguards have been spotted with flyswatters. �

Chicago Sun-Times

So now we're going to the beach with:

Towel.

Water.

Sunscreen.

Snacks.

FLY SWATTER.

Chicago summer starter pack. 😭

🌧️ WHY ARE THERE SO MANY?

Experts say Chicago's combination of heat and unusually wet weather may be helping create favorable conditions for insects.

Stable flies can breed in decaying vegetation, including material that collects along shorelines, and researchers note that outbreaks have happened along Lake Michigan before. One University of Illinois medical entomologist said stable flies can be more abundant during years with heavy rainfall, making a spike this year plausible. �

Chicago Sun-Times +1

So after all those storms dumped water everywhere...

Mother Nature apparently looked at Chicago and said:

“You know what this needs? BLOOD-SUCKING FLIES.”

😩 AND YOUR MOSQUITO SPRAY MAY NOT SAVE YOU

Here's the disrespectful part.

IDPH says repellents containing DEET or picaridin are among the better options against biting flies, but repellents that work well against mosquitoes can be less effective against certain biting flies. Officials also recommend covering exposed skin with sturdy, light-colored clothing and avoiding areas and times when the flies are particularly active. �

Illinois Department of Public Health

So now you're telling me I gotta wear LONG PANTS...

during a Chicago heat wave...

to keep Dracula's little cousins from chewing on my ankles?!

🎙️ LADY RED SAYS...

Chicago...

WHAT THE HELL DID WE DO?!

😭😭😭😭

Let's review 2026.

Heat waves?

CHECK.

Tornadoes?

CHECK.

Flooding?

CHECK.

Wildfire smoke?

CHECK.

Cicadas screaming from the trees?

CHECK.

And now...

BLOOD-SUCKING FLIES WITH BAYONETS FOR MOUTHS.

NO.

I'm done.

I'm staying in the house.

Because regular flies were already disrespectful enough.

They land on garbage.

Then land on dog poop.

Then somehow fly directly into YOUR HOUSE and start circling your potato salad.

But apparently the 2026 Chicago fly said:

“Potato salad? Nah. I'M EATING SHARON.”

😭😭😭

And why are y'all attacking the ANKLES?!

That's personal.

Nobody has ever looked down at their ankle and thought:

“You know what this needs? A predator.”

The good news is that stable flies are primarily a painful nuisance to humans and aren't known for transmitting human disease the way mosquitoes can. But bites can hurt, and biting flies can cause serious allergic reactions in sensitive people. �

Illinois Department of Public Health

So yes, Chicago...

The flies are real.

The biting is real.

And apparently summer 2026 isn't finished with us yet.

At this point I'm scared to ask:

WHAT'S NEXT?!

Because Mother Nature might hear me.

🪰 BZZZZZZZZ.

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**IT HITS DIFFERENT. EVERY TIME. BOOM! 💥**