🏙️ Chicago Said: “Everybody Come Outside This Weekend!” 😂

Listen, Chicago...

If you were planning on sitting peacefully in the house this weekend, the city apparently did NOT consult you when making the schedule.

Because we've got the Bud Billiken Parade, Market Days, the Chicago Ducky Derby, and before long, the Thunderbirds are coming back to shake everybody's windows.

Chicago said:

“Pick an event and GET OUT THE HOUSE!” 😂

🎒 FIRST UP: BUD BILLIKEN!

The legendary Bud Billiken Parade is back this weekend, bringing one of Chicago's biggest traditions to the South Side.

And if you've ever been to Bud Billiken, you already know.

This ain't no little parade where three people walk by holding balloons.

Baby...

Chicago COMES OUT.

Families. Alumni. Politicians. Bands. Dance teams. Organizations. Vendors. Everybody's auntie.

And somebody's cousin is going to tell you:

“I'm right by the park.”

They're not.

They're 14 blocks away with no parking. 😂

The city is warning people to expect large crowds, street closures, traffic restrictions and delays around major events.

Translation from government language into Lady Red:

LEAVE EARLY.

Because if Google Maps says 25 minutes...

Put your shoes on an hour and a half before that.

🦆 AND WE GOT DUCKS?!

The Chicago Ducky Derby is also part of the weekend action.

Thousands of little rubber ducks get dumped into the Chicago River for charity.

Yes.

You read that correctly.

Chicago has reached the point where even rubber ducks got somewhere to be this weekend.

😂😂😂

Meanwhile, Northalsted Market Days is bringing another huge crowd to the city with music, food, entertainment and festivities.

Basically...

If you're trying to drive anywhere in Chicago this weekend...

May the Lord order your steps AND your GPS.

✈️ AND THEN COME THE THUNDERBIRDS...

Now let's discuss what's about to happen when the U.S. Air Force Thunderbirds return for the Chicago Air & Water Show.

They're appearing for the second consecutive year, which isn't the usual rotation.

And Chicago...

You KNOW what's coming.

The practice flights are going to start.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! ✈️💨

Then Facebook will immediately become the Emergency Broadcast System:

“DID ANYBODY ELSE HEAR THAT?!”

Yes, Brenda.

All 2.7 million of us heard it.

😂

Then somebody else:

“Why are military jets flying over downtown?!”

Because it's the Air & Water Show.

Same reason they were flying last year.

And the year before that.

And probably the same reason your dog is currently underneath the dining-room table looking for answers.

😂 LADY RED'S CHICAGO WEEKEND SURVIVAL KIT

You need comfortable shoes, water, patience, your Ventra card and enough emotional stability to accept that Lake Shore Drive may not care about your plans.

And please...

If you're going downtown during all this activity and you voluntarily drive directly into the middle of it...

Don't get on Facebook at 6:17 p.m. talking about:

“Chicago traffic is RIDICULOUS!”

Baby...

YOU WENT TO THE RIDICULOUSNESS. 😂

But underneath all my carrying on, this is actually one of those weekends that reminds you why summertime in Chicago hits different.

The neighborhoods are alive.

Families are outside.

Chicago traditions are being celebrated.

The lakefront is moving.

And there's something happening practically everywhere you turn.

So enjoy the city.

Be safe.

Leave early.

And when those Thunderbirds come screaming across the lakefront...

Don't ask me what that noise was.

IT WAS THE PLANES, DAMMIT. 😂✈️

730 BOOM RADIO

Chicago Is Home. The World Is Welcome.

It Hits Different. Every Time. BOOM!