👀 ONE GROUP PHOTO JUST RESTARTED THE WHOLE “BLACK MEN DATING OUTSIDE THEIR RACE” DEBATE

730 BOOM RADIO | Celebrity & Culture

CeCe Gutierrez posted what was supposed to be a nice group photo from the Harold & Carole Pump Foundation event. Everybody was dressed up, smiling, looking good and enjoying themselves.

Social media looked at that picture and said:

“WAIT A DAMN MINUTE... WHO EVERYBODY CAME WITH?!” 😭

The former Basketball Wives cast member attended with her husband, former NBA player and coach Byron Scott, and shared photos with friends from the event. But instead of everybody concentrating on the charity, the picture sparked a much bigger conversation after people noticed several of the Black men pictured had non-Black partners.

And just like that, the internet reopened one of those debates that NEVER seems to die:

WHY DO SO MANY SUCCESSFUL BLACK MEN SEEM TO DATE OUTSIDE THEIR RACE?

Comments started pouring in.

Some Black women questioned why photos of wealthy and successful Black men so often seem to feature non-Black wives and girlfriends. Others said people need to stop policing grown folks' relationships and let people love whoever the hell they love.

And let's make something clear before CeCe gets blamed for starting World War III in the comments.

CeCe didn't post the picture to make a statement about interracial dating.

She was posting about attending and supporting the charity event. The INTERNET turned the damn group picture into a sociology class. 😭

🔴 LADY RED'S TAKE: BUT ARE WE IGNORING HOW PEOPLE ACTUALLY MEET?

Now THIS is where I look at this conversation a little differently.

I understand why some Black women look at pictures like this and say:

“Damn. Where the sisters at?”

I GET IT.

But here's something we don't talk about enough.

WHO THE HELL WERE THESE MEN AROUND WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG?!

Think about it.

You take a talented Black boy from the hood who's incredible at basketball or football.

He gets recruited to a big Division I university.

Depending on the school, he may suddenly be living on a campus where the Black student population is relatively small.

So every day he's going to class...

eating in the cafeteria...

going to parties...

training...

hanging with classmates...

meeting friends of friends...

and the majority of women he's interacting with might NOT BE BLACK.

Then everybody acts surprised when:

HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH SOMEBODY WHO WAS ACTUALLY THERE.

😭

What did y'all expect him to do?

Walk around campus yelling:

“EXCUSE ME! BEFORE I DEVELOP FEELINGS FOR ANYBODY, WHERE ARE THE SISTERS LOCATED?!”

😂😂😂

People generally date from the pool of people they meet and spend time around.

And this doesn't only apply to athletes.

THINK ABOUT WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR OWN CHILDREN.

A Black family starts making more money.

Mama and Daddy say:

“We're getting these kids out of this neighborhood. We want better schools, safer streets and more opportunities.”

Beautiful.

So, you move into a wealthier suburb.

Your Black son or daughter enrolls in a predominantly white high school.

They spend four years going to class with mostly white kids.

They join clubs with them.

Play sports with them.

Go to homecoming with them.

Go to prom with them.

Then they leave for a predominantly white college.

And somewhere around age 23 they bring home a white boyfriend or girlfriend and everybody's standing in the kitchen like:

“WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?!”

FROM SCHOOL, SHIRLEY!

😭😭😭

YOU PUT THEM THERE!

What did you think was going to happen?

You cannot deliberately change your child's entire social environment and then be shocked when their dating pool changes along with it.

That's not necessarily somebody saying:

“I don't like Black women.”

Sometimes it's simply:

“This is who I met.”

And that distinction matters.

👀 NOW, THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN EVERYTHING

Because YES, there are Black men who have publicly said disrespectful things about Black women while exclusively pursuing women of other races.

And THAT is a different conversation.

Love a white woman because you love that woman?

Fine.

Love an Asian woman?

Fine.

Love a Latina?

Fine.

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO TEAR DOWN BLACK WOMEN TO JUSTIFY WHO YOU LOVE.

That's where Lady Red gets irritated.

You don't need to announce:

“Black women are too loud.”

“Black women have attitudes.”

“Black women are too difficult.”

Sir, just go enjoy your relationship.

WHY DID WE HAVE TO CATCH A STRAY?! 😭

Likewise, Black women shouldn't have to explain themselves every time they date outside their race either.

If we're saying love is love, that street has to run in BOTH directions.

💰 AND DOES MONEY REALLY CHANGE WHO BLACK MEN DATE?

This is where we have to be careful about turning celebrity photographs into statistics.

A picture of several wealthy Black men with non-Black women can LOOK striking.

But that doesn't automatically prove:

“Black men get money and immediately stop dating Black women.”

There's another possibility.

THEIR ENVIRONMENT CHANGED.

The athlete leaves his predominantly Black neighborhood.

Now he's at a major university.

Then the NBA or NFL.

Now he's traveling internationally.

Living in wealthy communities.

Attending corporate events.

Going to charity galas.

Meeting agents, executives, entertainers, business owners and people from all over the world.

His dating pool just went from:

“Who lives around the corner?”

to:

“WHO LIVES ON EARTH?”

😂

So YES, his relationships might start looking different.

Not necessarily because his opinion of Black women changed.

His entire world changed.

And CeCe and Byron themselves have been together for years and married since 2020. Looking at their marriage from the outside and reducing it to “successful Black man picked a non-Black woman” ignores the actual human relationship between two people.

🔴 LADY RED'S FINAL TAKE

I'm not going to tell Black women they're wrong for noticing patterns.

Talk about it.

Ask the questions.

Because conversations about Black love, colorism, beauty standards, representation and how success affects dating absolutely deserve discussion.

But I'm also not ready to look at every interracial couple and conclude:

“HE GOT MONEY AND STOPPED WANTING SISTERS.”

Sometimes the explanation might be considerably less dramatic.

PROXIMITY.

Who did you go to school with?

Who did you work with?

Who lived in your neighborhood?

Who was at the parties?

Who was in your social circle?

Who did you actually have the opportunity to KNOW?

Because you can raise your Black child in a predominantly white suburb...

send them to a predominantly white high school...

send them to a predominantly white university...

watch them enter a predominantly white profession...

and then when they walk through the door with Becky or Brad:

DON'T START ACTING LIKE YOU NEED THE FBI.

😭😂😂

You built the damn dating pool!

Now, if somebody specifically refuses to date Black people because they think Black people are somehow inferior?

THAT'S DIFFERENT.

But falling in love with somebody outside your race because that's who you met while living your life?

Baby, that's called LIFE.

So I'm throwing this one to the 730 BOOM family:

📻 QUESTION OF THE DAY

When successful Black men date outside their race, do you think it's really about rejecting Black women, or are we overlooking something much simpler: their schools, neighborhoods, careers and social circles may put them around fewer Black women in the first place?

And here's the kicker:

IF YOU PUT YOUR BLACK CHILD IN PREDOMINANTLY WHITE SCHOOLS AND NEIGHBORHOODS FOR “BETTER OPPORTUNITIES,” CAN YOU REALLY BE MAD IF THEY COME HOME LOVING SOMEBODY WHO ISN'T BLACK? 👀

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