😂 CHAKA KHAN SAYS SHE’S “PARTNERED OUT” AND AFTER HEARING ABOUT HER SECOND MARRIAGE… YVETTE FROM CHICAGO MAKES PERFECT SENSE

Chaka Khan is trending because at 73 years old, the legendary singer has officially announced that the relationship department is CLOSED.

In a recent interview with The Observer, Chaka said she isn't looking for another partner and summed up her feelings in two beautiful little words:

“I’m partnered out.”

😭😭😭

Not “I'm taking some time for myself.”

Not “Maybe the right man will come along.”

Not “I'm waiting on God.”

PARTNERED. OUT.

The office is closed. The position has been eliminated. Human Resources shredded the applications.

And after you hear some of Chaka's relationship history?

BABY, I UNDERSTAND WHY.

But before we get into Chaka Khan, let me introduce y'all to somebody else.

😂 MEET YVETTE FROM CHICAGO

Before the Grammys, before Rufus, before Tell Me Something Good, Sweet Thing, Ain't Nobody and I'm Every Woman, Chaka Khan was born Yvette Marie Stevens on the South Side of Chicago.

And apparently...

YVETTE NEVER COMPLETELY LEFT THE BUILDING.

😂😂😂

Chaka grew up on Chicago's South Side, participated in civil-rights activism as a child and became involved with the Black Panther Party as a teenager. She has talked about selling the Black Panther newspaper on Chicago street corners and has identified Fred Hampton as one of the people she admired.

So when people think Chaka Khan has always just been standing underneath a spotlight with that big beautiful hair singing Through the Fire...

NO MA'AM.

This was YVETTE FROM CHICAGO.

Former Black Panther.

South Side.

Activist.

And apparently not the person you wanted to have a particularly heated argument with back in the day.

Because one of the stories from Chaka's second marriage is absolutely WILD.

😳 THEN CAME THE SHOTGUN INCIDENT

Chaka married Richard Holland in 1976, her second marriage.

And that relationship became turbulent enough that Chaka has recalled a confrontation where she fired a shotgun in Holland's direction.

She missed.

THANK GOD.

Because that's where we have to stop laughing for a second.

Firing a weapon at somebody is serious. Somebody could have died, and Chaka's entire life could have taken a completely different path.

But everybody survived.

And when I hear that story now?

I don't hear Chaka Khan.

I HEAR YVETTE.

😭😭😭

That's when the Chicago came OUT.

Chaka Khan was somewhere in the house.

But Yvette Marie Stevens apparently said:

“Move. I got this.”

😂😂😂

Y'all know how somebody can move away from Chicago, become internationally famous, win Grammys, travel the entire world, live in beautiful houses and wear fabulous clothes...

But somewhere DEEP DOWN...

THEIR ORIGINAL CHICAGO SOFTWARE IS STILL INSTALLED.

You don't necessarily use it.

You hope you never have to activate it.

But baby...

IT'S IN THE SYSTEM.

😭😂

💍 NOW FAST-FORWARD TO 73-YEAR-OLD CHAKA

Chaka has two marriages behind her, and in her recent interview she made it clear that another one isn't something she's searching for.

And I don't blame her.

At 73, after everything this woman has experienced, what exactly is she supposed to be looking for?

Somebody to come into her house and ask:

“What we eating?”

Whatever YOU cook.

“Where you going?”

OUT.

“Who you texting?”

NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS, STEVEN.

😭😭😭

At some point in life, peace becomes sexier than companionship.

You want the whole bed.

You want the remote.

You want your thermostat exactly where you left it.

And most importantly...

YOU DON'T WANT TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU'RE MAD.

Chaka has already completed two full seasons of Marriage.

THE SERIES HAS BEEN CANCELED.

No reboot.

No reunion episode.

No Chaka Khan: The Golden Bachelor Years.

NOTHING.

😂

🎶 AND SHE HAS PLENTY TO DO WITHOUT A MAN

Chaka isn't sitting around waiting for somebody to send a “Good morning beautiful” text either.

She's preparing to release her new album Chakzilla in September, and the musical based on her life, I'm Every Woman: The Chaka Khan Musical, is currently running in London.

So this woman is 73 years old with a career spanning more than five decades, new music, a musical about her life and generations of singers influenced by her voice.

She doesn't need another husband.

SHE NEEDS SOMEBODY TO MAKE SURE HER GRAMMYS ARE DUSTED.

🔴 LADY RED'S TAKE

See, the headline says:

“CHAKA KHAN SAYS SHE'S PARTNERED OUT.”

But Lady Red heard:

“YVETTE MARIE STEVENS HAS RETIRED FROM Y'ALL'S BULLSHIT.”

😂😂😂

And THAT makes sense.

Because this is a woman who grew up on the South Side of Chicago.

This is a woman who became politically active while she was still a teenager.

This is a former Black Panther.

This is a woman who survived two marriages, addiction, fame, the record industry and enough personal drama to fill three Lifetime movies.

And she's still here.

So at 73, Chaka ain't looking for another relationship.

She has apparently reached the beautiful stage of womanhood called:

“I DON'T NEED ANOTHER DAMN PROJECT.”

😂😂😂

And her music has been warning us this whole time.

She gave us Through the Fire.

Considering her life story...

BABY, WE BELIEVE YOU.

She gave us Ain't Nobody.

That's apparently the current relationship status.

And she gave us I'm Every Woman.

Exactly.

EVERY WOMAN EXCEPT SOMEBODY'S WIFE AGAIN.

😂😂😂

So if you're wondering why Chaka Khan says she's “partnered out,” quit trying to hook that woman up.

Let Chaka make her music.

Let Chaka enjoy her life.

Let Chaka sleep diagonally across that bed.

And most importantly...

LET YVETTE STAY RETIRED.

Because apparently when Chaka gets pushed too far...

CHICAGO CLOCKS BACK IN. 😂

I'm Lady Red, and THAT'S your RED ALERT™, right here on 730 BOOM Radio.

730 BOOM RADIOIT HITS DIFFERENT. EVERY TIME. BOOM! 💥