NAKED WOMAN ALLEGEDLY STEALS FIRE DEPARTMENT TRUCK... THEN TELLS POLICE SHE'S A FIREFIGHTER 😂

WISCONSIN COME CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!!

Ladies and gentlemen...

Sometimes I read a story and immediately know there is absolutely NOTHING I can add to make it more ridiculous.

This is one of those stories.

We are headed to Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin, where police say 36-year-old Emily Fair allegedly stole a pickup truck from a fire station during the early morning hours.

Okay.

That's already enough to get you nominated for Knucklehead News.

BUT SHE WAS NAKED.

Not missing a shoe.

Not running out the house in pajamas.

Not “I forgot my coat.”

NAKED.

Driving the FIRE DEPARTMENT'S TRUCK.

😭😂

According to reports, the truck disappeared from the Pleasant Prairie Fire & Rescue station, and while it was gone, somebody started making some rather interesting transmissions over the department radio.

At one point, the woman allegedly radioed:

“Brennan, do you read me?”

Then reportedly asked whether Brennan had any food because she was hungry.

MA'AM.

You have allegedly stolen a municipal vehicle.

You have no clothes on.

And now you're using the fire department radio like it's DoorDash dispatch?!

WHO IS BRENNAN?!

And more importantly...

DID BRENNAN HAVE THE FOOD?! 😂

Eventually, police caught up with her at a Department of Public Works garage about an hour after the truck was allegedly taken.

And THIS is where the story reaches championship-level knucklehead.

Police body-camera footage reportedly shows an officer questioning the woman, who claimed she was a firefighter and was supposed to be meeting somebody.

A firefighter.

Okay.

So naturally, the officer had a rather reasonable follow-up question:

WHY ARE YOU NAKED?!

😭😭😭

THANK YOU, OFFICER.

Because we were ALL waiting for somebody to ask that.

See, if you're gonna allegedly impersonate a firefighter, there are certain accessories I would imagine help sell the story.

Helmet.

Boots.

Uniform.

Maybe a hose.

PANTS.

Pants would've really brought the whole firefighter presentation together.

😂😂😂

And before anybody says maybe she couldn't find her clothes...

THEY FOUND HER DRESS IN THE BACK OF THE TRUCK. 

GIRL!!!!

So the clothes came WITH YOU?!

Now I'm even more confused!

At some point during this alleged adventure, there was apparently an opportunity to say:

“You know what would really improve this situation? GETTING DRESSED.”

And allegedly that opportunity was declined.

Police arrested Fair, and she has been charged with operating a motor vehicle without the owner's consent. If convicted, she could face up to six years in prison.

And remember, these are allegations. A charge is not a conviction.

But I have one final question.

Imagine being the firefighter coming into work that morning.

“Hey... where's the truck?”

Some naked lady took it.

“I'm sorry... WHO took WHAT?”

😂😂😂

Nope.

Take my sick day.

Because clearly this shift started without me and I don't want no parts of it.

Congratulations, Wisconsin.

Florida usually has this division locked DOWN, but today?

Y'ALL CAME FOR THE TITLE.

This has been KNUCKLEHEAD NEWS, where I don't have to make the stories funny...

THE KNUCKLEHEADS DO ALL THE WORK FOR ME. 🤦🏾‍♀️😂

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