TYLER PERRY’S BEAUTY IN BLACK SEASON 3 IS BACK... AND YES, YOU CAN WATCH ALL 8 EPISODES IN ONE NIGHT AND BE TIRED AF LIKE US 😭

THANKS, TYLER.

No, seriously.

Thank you so damn much.

Because Tyler Perry's Beauty in Black Season 3 dropped Thursday, August 27, and Netflix released ALL EIGHT EPISODES AT ONCE. No waiting until next Thursday. No “come back next week.” Tyler said here, take all this dysfunction RIGHT NOW.

And what did we do?

WATCHED ALL EIGHT DAMN EPISODES.

So if this article seems a little delirious...

WE TIRED AF.

😂😂😂

Netflix says Season 3 picks up after that Season 2 FBI raid, with Kimmie trying to hold onto her new power while the Bellarie empire is basically held together with secrets, betrayal, addiction and years of buried crimes.

But that official description is WAY too polite.

Because baby...

WTF DID WE JUST WATCH?!

Tyler Perry apparently sat down and said:

“How much dysfunction can I fit into eight episodes?”

And somebody apparently answered:

“YES.”

😭😂😂😂

Because we've got:

Drugs.

Addiction.

Strip clubs.

Gangsters.

Killers.

Jailbirds.

Suicidal behavior.

People sleeping with people they probably shouldn't be sleeping with.

Gay relationships.

Bisexual relationships.

Family secrets.

Blackmail.

Betrayal.

Horrible parenting.

Violence.

FBI investigations.

Folks turning on each other.

Folks threatening each other.

Folks trying to kill each other.

Folks trying to figure out WHO already killed somebody.

And enough cussing to make you check the television and make sure YOU didn't accidentally turn the profanity setting up to 700.

😭😭😂😂

🗣️ AND OOOOH WEEE... THE CUSSING!

TYLER!

GOTDAMN!

😂😂😂

We knew Beauty in Black wasn't Little House on the Prairie, but Season 3 said:

F**K THAT S**T.

Literally.

Repeatedly.

😭😂

The cussing is on a WHOLE. NOTHER. LEVEL.

At some point we stopped listening to the dialogue and started wondering whether Tyler had somebody standing behind the camera holding up a sign:

“CUT! That was good, but can you put two more motherf***ers in it?”

😂😂😂😂

You can't even get a simple:

“Good morning.”

On this show it gotta be:

“GOOD MORNING, MOTHERF***ER, WHERE THE F**K YOU BEEN?!”

😭

🔫 AND WHY DOES EVERYBODY HAVE A KILLER OR ASS-KICKER ON SPEED DIAL?!

THIS is what we need Tyler Perry to explain.

Because apparently nobody in the Bellarie universe handles conflict like regular people.

Normal people:

“I'm having a problem with somebody.”

Beauty in Black people:

“Hold on. Lemme make a call.”

📱😐

WHO TF ARE Y'ALL CALLING?!

Everybody knows somebody who can:

Beat somebody's ass.

Kidnap somebody.

Threaten somebody.

Make somebody disappear.

Clean some shit up.

Find somebody who disappeared.

Or apparently call somebody ELSE who can do all of the above.

😂😂😂

Does anybody on this show know a PLUMBER?!

A dentist?!

An accountant?!

Everybody's contact list looks like:

MURDER MIKE

BEAT-DOWN BRENDA

DISAPPEAR-A-MF DARRYL

DON'T ASK QUESTIONS KEISHA

😭😭😭😂😂😂

😩 AND THE PARENTING?!

Baby...

CPS NEEDS ITS OWN CAST CREDIT.

Some of these people couldn't raise a damn houseplant.

Children are traumatized.

Parents are traumatizing them.

Then everybody wonders:

“Why is this child acting like this?”

BECAUSE LOOK AT Y'ALL!

😭😂

Half these characters need therapy.

The other half need jail.

And a few need:

THERAPY IN JAIL.

😳 TYLER SAID EVERYBODY GET SOME STORYLINE!

Straight.

Gay.

Bi.

Rich.

Poor.

Stripper.

Business executive.

Drug addict.

Gangster.

Murderer.

Jailbird.

Traumatized child.

Dysfunctional parent.

Suicidal.

Addicted.

Corrupt.

Manipulative.

Horny.

Dangerous.

Crazy.

Confused.

TYLER SAID REPRESENTATION MATTERS.

😭😭😭😂😂😂

He apparently looked at the human condition and said:

“I WANT ALL THAT SHIT.”

And somehow...

IT WORKS.

Because you KNOW it's ridiculous.

You KNOW you should turn it off.

You KNOW it's 2:37 in the morning.

Netflix asks:

“Are you still watching?”

YES, BITCH.

MIND YOUR BUSINESS.

😂😂😂

Next episode.

🙏🏾 WAIT... DID WE FORGET SOMETHING?

Let's see.

Drugs? ✔️

Sex? ✔️

Murder? ✔️

Gangsters? ✔️

Strippers? ✔️

Jail? ✔️

Addiction? ✔️

Sexuality? ✔️

Suicide? ✔️

Betrayal? ✔️

Blackmail? ✔️

Terrible parenting? ✔️

Family dysfunction? ✔️

People beating the hell out of each other? ✔️

FBI? ✔️

Secrets? ✔️

Killers on speed dial? ✔️

Hmmmm...

Seems like Tyler covered damn near everything.

Wait.

GOD.

😭😭😭😭

GOD IS NOWHERE IN THIS SHIT.

😂😂😂😂😂

Tyler Perry usually has somebody's grandmother somewhere saying:

“Baby, you gotta give it to God.”

Not these people.

They gave it to JULES.

😭😭😭😂😂😂

Somebody gets into trouble and ain't NOBODY saying:

“Let's pray.”

They're saying:

“WHO CAN WE CALL?”

BABY...

CALL JESUS!

Everybody else in your contacts apparently has a BODY COUNT.

😂😂😂

👀 AND SEASON 4 IS ALREADY COMING

And Tyler ain't finished torturing our sleep schedules.

Netflix has already confirmed Beauty in Black has been renewed for Season 4. 

So apparently all this foolishness has another shift coming.

And after watching eight episodes straight...

We have only one thing to say:

WE WILL ABSOLUTELY BE WATCHING.

😂😂😂

Because Beauty in Black is one of those shows where you spend the entire episode yelling:

“THIS SHIT DON'T MAKE NO DAMN SENSE!”

Then the credits roll and you immediately press:

NEXT EPISODE.

😭😂😂😂

Tyler Perry...

Thank you.

We enjoyed ourselves.

The scandal was scandalous.

The cussing was cussing.

The killers were killing.

The ass-kickers were apparently fully booked.

The Bellaries remain the most dysfunctional rich family on television.

And now...

WE NEED A NAP.

😴😂

All eight episodes of Tyler Perry's Beauty in Black Season 3 are streaming now on Netflix. 

730 BOOM RADIO

We say what you were already thinking...

And maybe we shouldn't.

Too late.

IT HITS DIFFERENT. EVERY TIME. BOOM! 💥